Proverbs 31:12 – Part 2

10 Apr

Now that you have had ample time (thanks to the flu!) to ponder verse 12, its time for me to (finally) weigh in!

“She brings him good, not harm, she comforts and encourages him and she is never spiteful, as long as she has breath to breathe.”

I have so many thoughts about this, I’m not even sure where to start, so let’s take the logical route, word by word.

“She brings him good, not harm…”

You know, I don’t walk around slapping Mr. And, I’ve never poisoned his food. So, I must not be bringing him harm, right? Perfect. Got that covered.


“…she comforts and encourages him…”

Well, when he is sick, I take care of him. And, I clap at his softball games. I think I have this verse down. Go Me!!

“…and she is never spiteful…”

Crap. You got me.

Spiteful. Hmmm. I know what spiteful means. Or, at least I thought I did. So, I decided to look it up, to see what it stirred in me. Wanna know the definition of spiteful?

Spiteful: full of spite

You’re welcome.

No, seriously.

Spiteful: filled with a (usually petty) desire to harm, annoy, frustrate, or humiliate another person

Which, brings me to my next point.

Upon first reading this passage, I honestly thought,  You know, I might not be the nicest wife ever, but I’m not that bad. But, now I am looking at this definition, and I am seeing it in a whole new light.

How often do we allow ourselves to bring our husbands (emotional, physical, spiritual) harm, because of our attitudes?

Let me tell you a little secret about myself. Lean in a little, I don’t want to have to say it too loudly.


I… might… 

No, lean a little bit closer… That’s better.

I… *might*… be…a…


But, shhhhhh. Don’t tell.

So, I am notorious for doing things like, asking Mr. to take out the garbage. If he doesn’t, I repeat myself. If he doesn’t again, I repeat myself, annoyed. If he still doesn’t, I move it to the middle of the hallway, so that he trips over it in the dark, having to clean up a bunch of trash, thinking the whole time, Gee, my wife was right… I *should* have taken this out last night. 

Here is the problem. It’s not, at all, even in the least bit, not a smidgen, effective.

I’ve often wondered, “Why?”.

I think I finally have my answer. My attitude.

By doing things like that, I bring my husband (emotional) harm. A better attitude would be to remind myself that he spends all day at work, and he would like to rest for a minute with his kids before doing chores. I would be willing to bet, that if I started simply asking him to take it out, and then waiting for him to do so, and then when he walked in from taking out the garbage, I hugged him and thanked him for being so helpful, I would most likely see better results. And guess what else? I just encouraged him to be a better husband!

Instead of reprimanding him, pray for him. Instead of reminding him, praise him. Instead of _______________, LOVE him. What word can you fill in there? What action will you replace it with?

I’m going to be honest here, for a second.

Going through these verses the first time, I just kept thinking, I am an awful wife. But, upon further thought and prayer, I have changed my attitude. I now keep thinking, I am so excited to finally become the wife my husband deserves!

Oh, and remember, it’s not just when its EASY. It’s as long as you have breath to breathe.

Here are some points to look at when applying this verse.

  • Would praying for him be more beneficial than scolding him?
  • How have you encouraged your husband TODAY?
  • What actions should you apologize for that you have done today?
  • What brings about a poor attitude in your toward your husband, and what verse will you recite to yourself while you ask the Lord to change that in you?

Now go pray for your husband, and your attitude!

What from our Proverbs 31 series have you applied, and what changes have you seen?! Let’s hear some testimonies as to how God is changing your marriage through you! Let me know in the comments!


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